Loomis & Flark Tall-Tale Series · Book 1
Legend of Devils Tower
The U.S. Army's two worst soldiers.One impossible mission.Not a clue between them.
Out now in paperback & Kindle
A novel by Kit Green
Vast, wild, and full of uncharted mysteries, just waiting for the right men to discover them. Or the wrong ones.
Privates Andrew J. Loomis and Gary Flark are an embarrassment to the United States Army. Loomis is a high-strung bookworm who is frightened of loud noises, dry air, and his father. Flark is a prank-happy optimist whose chief military ambition is to find a girlfriend.
When the pair take the fall for a prank they didn't pull, their cigar-chewing Colonel sends them somewhere they can't cause any more trouble: the blank half of the map, to fetch a secret weapon rumored to be hidden at a place called Devils Tower. They have eight weeks. If they fail, it's prison for life.
The Colonel doesn't expect them back. He has badly underestimated their dumb luck.
Meet your heroes (sorry)
Private Andrew J. Loomis · the neurotic one
Tall, lanky, and pressed to within an inch of his life. Carries Sun Tzu in his pack and a leather notebook everywhere else. Can tell you the time from the angle of the sun, and will, whether or not you asked.
Private Gary Flark · the other one
Short, stout, and sunny in all weather. Navigates by smell. Has been known to hold a map upside down with total confidence. Believes every disaster is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Every friendship has one of each.Which one are you?
The Loomis & Flark Tall-Tale Series
Book 1
Two disgraced privates.One mythical secret weapon.An entire continent in the way.
Book 2
The nation's gold has gone missing.Guess who's responsible for recovering it?
Book 3
Not west this time. North.What's north of America?They're about to find out.
For readers
Four documents recovered from the expedition.Two are free with a sign-up. Two are VIP, for less than a dollar.
Pvt. A. J. Loomis
Free
Marvin the Metaphysical Hermit
Free
Pvt. G. Flark, genius chef
VIP
Cartography by committee
VIP
The man responsible
Kit Green writes character-driven satirical historical fiction, which is a respectable way of saying he makes up silly stories about the past.
When he isn't writing, he enjoys swimming with ghosts, tinkering on his time machine, and trying to get his cats to listen to him. He lives on the South Shore of the Detroit River.